(Image Information: Fox Face, Flickr ) (Image Information: Fox Close Up, Maxpixel ) Hello. My name is Alex and this is my story about fox power. It was nearly forty years ago. I was a young boy, about thirteen. My family lived out in the country in the middle of nowhere, Oklahoma. My mother had always loved animals, and she was constantly adopting them because she couldn't stand to see them hungry. We had sheep, pigs, cats, dogs, rabbits, goats...you name it, and we probably kept it as a pet. The one creature we'd never cared for was foxes. Back then, there weren't many foxes in our part of the woods. One day I'm out feeding and watering the animals, something I don't particularly like doing but have to do anyway. The pig has gone and knocked her water bin over, so I've gotta climb the fence to her pen and turn it over for her. I'm struggling in the mud, trying to right the dang thing. It's heavy, and my feet are slipping in the mud and
Hi Ann Marie,
ReplyDeleteI love the picture of Hyacinths on your website page. At first, I was a little confused about why you would include this. This seemed a little bit random until I read the cover page because one of the lovers you mentioned was named Hyacinthus. However, it was only clear about why you picked the cover picture after reading how she was the one that Apollo fell in love with last. I like how you picked a really relatable topic because love and heartbreak is a very universal thing. I can't wait to see how you show Apollo's different love feelings. I really like your introduction and how you really captured Apollo's personality in such few words. I would like to see you maybe expand more on your introduction and maybe include some dialogue! I think the informal structure of the introduction really works well because it gives a basis on why Apollo would be telling us readers his love stories. I wonder if he actually ends up in love. Can't wait to read more!
Hi Ann!
ReplyDeleteI really like the picture you chose for your title page it's really beautiful. I don't know that much about the specific Greek Myths you will be telling us about, it's been a while. I like that you've made Apollo the main narrator for your story. In your intro you really give Apollo a lot of personality which I really liked. I especially liked the mention of Artemis which definitely reminds me of how my sister and I mess with each other. I also like that you've set the people who pray to Apollo for help in love as the audience for his tale. That feels very believable and personal. I do wish that in your intro you had incorporated an additional picture other than just the header from the title page. I think by adding some photos you could definitely add to your story visuall which would be fun. I can't wait to see where this story goes.
Hey there Ann,
ReplyDeleteThe picture that you used for your home page was very colorful and I really think it added to your homepage. In the introduction you did a really good job of giving insight to what your storybook is going to be about. What if on the introduction page you change the banner image or add an image to the page so that it correlates and is drawn into the introduction? But in the introduction itself I liked how you gave Apollo a lot of personality. I don’t have too much knowledge of the Greek myths you will be telling but I am looking forward to reading them. And overall the topic that you have chosen is very relatable to the readers because heartbreak is felt by most in their lives and I believe the readers will be able to connect well with these stories. I look forward to reading more.
Hey Ann Marie!
ReplyDeleteI'm interested to see where this project is going. The way you've sown the seeds for stories later on is really intriguing, feeling like a natural part of the start of a series of tales belabored to us from this god. Some of the sentences have a sort of strange tempo to them, either in how short some series of them are, or the repeating of the word "love" (especially in the first paragraph). It can slightly hurt immersion to have such repetition, especially when it's only one word or phrase. I think the first and third paragraphs are the perpetrators here.
Your descriptive writing is fantastic! It really brought out the emotions of love and heartbreak, and helped me to truly understand not just how the narrator feels about the stories, but also the total tone of the project. I'm excited to see what sort of stories you produce with it!
Hi there, Ann Marie!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I’d like to start out by saying that I was captivated by your storytelling style. You’ve turned Apollo into an incredibly engaging narrator, whose grand notions of love (and himself) influence the diction that he uses, although he still sprinkles in some more modern vocabulary. I actually really enjoyed the contrast, and I felt like it really provided an opportunity for Apollo’s character to shine through. I felt like a strong point in your intro is the end of the second paragraph- it pulls the reader in and creates curiosity about who “he” is, and why he was so influential in Apollo’s love life. I like that you chose to explore two women and one man that Apollo was in love with. I’m not very familiar with the mythology behind your storybook, so I look forward to reading and learning more as your storybook grows!
-Kate
Hi Ann Marie!
ReplyDeleteI love the hyacinth image. It is pretty to look at and serves as a sneaky little reference about what is to come (the importance of the character of Hyacinthus). Also, I love a bisexual deity! I'm so psyched to read your stories once you get them going.
I'm curious which stories you're going to tell and how? I assume they will all be in first person from Apollo's perspective. You've definitely given Apollo a distinct tone in the introduction and I'm interested to read more stories and see how he grows as a character. Especially since he's clearly got a bit of an ego, a dramatic streak, and a sense of humor!
I think this project is a really fun idea and I'm looking forward to reading more! This will also be a good opportunity for the rest of us to learn more about Greek mythology. Good luck and have fun writing!
Hey Ann Marie,
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I love grape hyacinths. They are so pretty. We have a trail that is lined with them in the spring and it is always so lovely to walk through. But on to your story. I was very intrigued with your intro. It was certainly captivating and made me eager to read more. There were a few grammatical errors but otherwise it was easy to read and pretty clear. I think it will lead into your stories really well too. You might consider using some pictures of greek mythology in your story, unless you are modernizing the tales, in order to help readers get a feel for your setting. The picture is so serene and peaceful looking I am not sure it reflects the theme. The rest of your site looks good, although you might make the links to your comment wall and to your story clickable instead of just posting the URL. Other than that, I really enjoyed the intro and I will be checking back to see what comes next. Great work!
-Elyse
Hello Ann Marie,
ReplyDeleteI loved your introduction. It was a unique twist how you wrote the intro from Apollo's point of view. I considered doing it myself, but I deemed it too big of a task. The introduction was very good, and I liked how you waited until the very end to reveal that it was Apollo speaking. The intro really did a great job of setting the mood for the stories you are about to tell. I don't have much to add as far as critiquing goes. I just thought it was really good!
Good luck,
Brady
Hi Ann Marie,
ReplyDeleteI think you have a great topic for your storybook. I liked the introduction as the god Apollo himself. I think it does a great job of attracting the reader's attention to the story. Also, your website looks really good. The only recommendation I have is to get a better quality image for the Daphne page.
I thought you did an excellent job of telling the Daphne story. The level of detail and background that you provide are really good. I liked the way you developed the story for them to fall in love. I did not know that Eros could shoot hate arrows. Really nice touch to the story, and really sad too. I wonder what Apollo did or said to him for Eros to do such a thing? I would love to see a bit of backstory between Eros and Apollo so that Eros's revenge is more meaningful.
Hey Ann Marie,
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I am a huge fan of Greek mythology, and my interest in it is what caused me to take this course, so I was really pumped to read your storybook, and it did not disappoint. The introduction written in first-person, as if the god Apollo is actually speaking to the reader, is a really cool and original move that I really liked. It gave me a personal connection to the story and its main character and that is something that keeps readers interested! The detail and background of the story you tell is remarkable and I really like the way you developed the story so masterfully. In addition, the layout and design of your website is really cool and I wish I had your web design prowess so I could make my storybook project look a little cooler than it does currently. Keep up the great job, Ann Marie! Can't wait to read more!
Hey Ann Marie,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story about Daphne. I particularly enjoyed the fact that it was written from Apollo's point of view. It just adds a little bit of flavor to the stories when something is mixed in there like that. I was curious, though, about whether or not Apollo and Daphne ever spoke again. Were the arrows made to make the feelings last indefinitely? Or was it just a short term thing that would eventually wear off? All in all you wrote a great story, and I look forward to reading more in the future. If I had any critique, it would be just to add a few more details. Your story seemed a bit shorter than others and I felt like there were some times where you could have gone into deeper detail.
Great Work!
Brady
Hi Ann Marie!
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time reading through your storybook, which is really neat! This week the focus for project feedback is supposed to be about images, so I'll try to keep most of my comments about that.
I think the cover image for your home page works really well. It compliments the concept of your story by referencing one of your characters, but is also a pleasing image that looks really nice as a first impression.
I like how you've kept the theme of flowers for all your cover images. I think it gives the storybook a consistent, polished feel. It would be nice to have a different image for your home page and introduction, though, just to keep things interesting while looking through the pages.
Reading your introduction was really fun, and I like how you told it from the POV of Apollo. I think it works great as both an introduction to the character and as a quick overview/summary of what to expect from the rest of the stories.
I haven't read the story of Daphne and Apollo so it was fun to read your retelling! I think you did a really good job, since I was able to follow the plot without any trouble. If you're still doing revisions, one thing you could look at is adding a little more detail to help the story come to life. Otherwise, great job!
Hey Ann Marie,
ReplyDeleteI am actually from the Indian Epics class, but I wanted to read about something different. I am glad I came across your page! Your title of your story caught my interest and then your introduction captivated me. I was excited to read your story "Daphne". The story of Daphne and Apollo was tragic. I hoped that they could be together. I liked how you made the story first person point of view from Apollo's side. I think if you also incorporated Daphne's perspective you could elevate the story. It would be useful especially in the part where Eros shoots Daphne with the arrow of hate. Why did Peneus not make her turning into a laurel tree temporary? He, too, lost a daughter when he turned her into a laurel tree. Even though Apollo is a god I guess he has a limit since he could not return Daphne to her original state or break her out of the trance from the arrow of hate.
Joanna Yoon
Hi Ann Marie,
ReplyDeleteI am back for this story now! I appreciate Daphne and her being independent, but sometimes love works its mysterious ways! I was a little confused because Daphne and Apollo apparently hunted together because Daphne's knowledge of the woods and Apollo never missing. However, Daphne was very distraught at the hurt deer. I like how you resolved this contrast with a quick note at the end! Wow, I did not know that Eros could shoot hate arrows. What a nice touch! Why did Eros hate Apollo so much? It'd be interesting to read a little bit of back story to this.
Poor Apollo. I love how your love stories never really have happy ever after endings because love is not that! I think adding a little bit of more dialogue to this story will help it come to life even more or even spacing out your long paragraphs, too.
Now to comment on your page in general, I love the flowers you put as your banner image. They are lovely, especially since all the lovers are named after flowers. Can't wait for the next one!
Hey Ann Marie,
ReplyDeleteYour "Daphne" story is absolutely incredible! The tragic story of Daphne and Apollo is iconic and very impactful. The reader really hopes they get to be together, though it is a doomed endeavor. I really enjoyed how you told the story in a first-person perspective and also from Apollo's point of view. There is a lot of creative directions you can head in that way, and I think you did a great job. I also loved the inclusion of the detail of Eros being able to shoot hate arrows. The imagery that you incorporated was also masterful and really built the world that the story took place in, and it created a fun and immersive experience. Keep doing great things and I am so excited to read more of your writing in the future.
Hey Ann Marie!
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time getting to look through your storybook and wow, it looks great! I picked your project based on the title. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been interested in myths and legends, especially Greek myths and legends. I think it’s cool how you decided to look into Apollo! He is really well known, but the three love affairs that you talked about are one’s I’d never heard before. Also, clever touch to use the Hyacinths as your cover photo.
I read through your stories and what stuck out to me the most was your decision to tell the story of Apollo and Daphne from Apollo’s perspective. That added in a new element and twist to the story that I really enjoyed!
You look like you’re in a great spot to finish off the project, I’m excited to see where you go with it all!
Best,
- JD
Hi Ann Marie!
ReplyDeleteI like this storybook a lot. Apollo does have a bit of a reputation for causing his lovers grief. I do have a note about your first Author's note, though. You restate a lot of what we have just read, i.e. who Daphne is and how she dies. You also do this to a lesser extent in the second Author's note, recounting how Hyacinthus dies. The author's note is to give us new insight and information that we didn't have before. It's a good place to tell us about how you changed the original story. It's also a good place to tell us about why you made the choices you did. You did do a good job of talking about your choices in the second Author's note, though. For example, it's cool to know that there's discussion over which flower Hyacinthus was turned into, and I like the insight of why you chose what we know as a hyacinth for the banner picture.
Hey howdy Ann Marie! What a stunning sight. I love that banner graphic. Somehow it really sets the scene for your stories. I am hurrying to get to your stories in this comment because your Daphne writing is SO good. Probably my favorite thing that I have read on here yet. Disclaimer, I am a huge fan of the ol story of Daphne and Apollo. I was excited to read it when I saw it on the table of contents and even more excited when I saw that it was in first person. What an awesome twist to a classic story. Hyacinthus was a wonderful follow up too. Again, I was in awe of your writing with this story. Not even getting into the creativity facet, but the writing itself was awesome. With the creation, it was inspiring that you came up with such a curious adaptation. This is some really great work.
ReplyDeleteHi there Ann Marie!
ReplyDeleteIt's so great to read more from you! I've loved seeing how your blog has grown over the semester! I really enjoy your writing style and the way that everything ties together. I still love the first person narration style with the occasional modern vocabulary. I also enjoyed how each of the three stories were able to stand alone as an engaging tale of Apollo and a love interest.
Kate
Hello there Ann Marie,
ReplyDeleteJust dropping in from Myth-Folklore to check out your project. I was really impressed overall and I must say you have done a fantastic job. I really liked your pictures that you used on your banner and feel that they really compliment the theme as a whole. I really liked how you took an unorthodox approach to the Apollo story. Additionally, I think you put a really nice spin on it by putting it in the first person. Great job and hope you have a great rest of the semester.
Hey Ann Marie,
ReplyDeleteSo I have been keeping up with your stories through the past few months because the were quite interesting! I just got to read the last story about Coronis. I loved seeing the change in Apollo that you mentioned you were attempting in the author's note. I was definitely able to see the change toward the end of the story when he mentions he found the true meaning of love in his new child. It is really sad that Coronis was cheating on Apollo despite carrying their child. I kept thinking there was going to be some sort of plot twist and that she wasn't really cheating on Apollo, but I guess that was just wishful thinking. I've really enjoyed reading your stories this semester. Congrats on making it through another semester!
Brady
Hey Ann Marie!
ReplyDeleteFor the last week of class I decided to look into the myth and folklore class. I am in Epics of India. Yours was one of my first stops. Your project has come together really nicely. The overall look is cohesive and the little details like the banner picture all add up. I appreciate that you took the extra time to add those details. I think the flowers and feather were perfect headers. It fit the vibe of your story. Your writing style is great. As the reader I didn't have trouble understanding your stories. You had details in your story that painted a vivid image in my head as the reader.
One thing I noticed is that your images tend to be at the end of the story. I think in some cases having the image early on is nice also.
I really enjoyed getting to see your work!
Good luck with finals!!!
Hi Ann Marie,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your storybook project. I found the representation of the bisexual nature of Apollo to be very entertaining. All three of your stories have relevance in how we treat relationships in today's society. from toxic jealousy to the idea of cheating you have provided your readers a glimpse into the complications within many relationships. I felt like your characters were developed fully and really allowed your readers to get into the head of Apollo. Part of me wonders what it would have been like for the three lovers that you wrote about? They got the experience of being in love with a god. How cool is that. I hope that you continue writing because your stories are really good. Good luck with finals!
These are such beautifully told stories Ann. I really enjoyed reading every single one of them. You did a great job of blending them together and telling them from Apollos point of view. I do begin to feel for the loss Apollo has been through with all these stories of love and death. I will say, I wish you gave more details as to how Daphne disappeared/turned into a tree. I haven't read the myth in a while and that part confuses me a little. I like how at the end of your third story you introduce Apollo's son, even though born out of rage, become Apollo's life and light in the world. I feel this is a common idea amongst men where they fall in love with their children and would do anything for them, putting them over everyone else in their life. I feel that's probably the way it should be.
ReplyDeleteHi Ann Marie!
ReplyDeleteI thought your storybook was fantastic. The site itself looks really clan and I love the the images you chose, especially the symbols of each story as the banner images. But, by far, the highlight of your project was your writing. Your stories are elegantly and artfully written. I think telling the stories from Apollo's first person was a great choice because the stories didn't feel like you typical Greek myths. They felt deeper and so much more personal. I really appreciated how you were able to subtly impress upon the reader Apollo's mood and tone without obviously stating it. The Coronis story was my favorite. I really liked how you harped on the idea that Asclepius, the god of medicine, was the one who healed Apollo's heart. I'm glad I got a chance to read it before the semester officially ended.
Hey again Ann Marie!
ReplyDeleteI'm happy to have returned to your stories of Apollo. As an occasional student of Greek history, the devotion is Apollo is important and ingrained in Ancient Greece, due to his relevance to oracle, especially at Delphi. Hearing these stories so closely related to a cultural figure so important is incredible, and you've done them excellent justice.
Your final story of Apollo, detailing his final romance to Coronis, was fantastic. You've shown excellent development in both character and plot, as well as in your own writing ability. The narrative felt well paced and immersive, and the revelation of Apollo's son's unfortunate circumstances was a real shock. I'm happy to have found your storybook this semester - all of your stories were both excellent self-contained narratives, and formed into a full-fledged overarching story that details how Apollo, a god himself, grows as a person, as a lover, and eventually, a father.